sexy movie story

r

What an incrediblereviewof my latestbook, BeneaththeJungleof Cozumel: ConnectingtheCrowns. I appreciate how in depth this reader went. And even readthebooktwice! It's only been out for 4 weeks! Thank you!!!

Luigi Mangione’sreviewoftheUnabomber’sbook… “We’re animals just like everything else on this planet, except we’ve forgottenthelaw ofthejungle… ‘Violence never solved anything’ is a statement uttered by cowards.”

myreviewofTheJungleBook(1994) I’ve watched some terrible movies for Lena Headey but this one was actually quite good.

How wc

Hdj&

The Jungle Book_360P

Not that I consider the original cartoon a classic. And I've never read Rudyard Kiplings novel. But this crap is far worse than the cartoon. First of all, the cgi in a movie relying this much on cgi needs to be state of the art. But in fact its almost as horrible as Spawn and The Scorpion King. Everything from the animals to the jungle is cgi. The snake and the tiger are the only ones that look like real animals. Making Louie, the monkey king act and sound like a mob-boss and look like Christopher Walken who is the voice, is a little funny, but not enough to make me any less bored at that point in the movie. As for the rest of the animals, if you're doing a feature version of a cartoon with talking animals, you better have that talent and the money to make it look good. They had neither here. The wolves are the worst cgi animated animals I have ever seen. After last years Jurassic World, its hard to believe they can get it this bad. The scene where the water puts out the fire in the jungle looks more fake than the water in The day after tomorrow. A 12 year old movie. The plot itself (I don't know how close this is to the novel) steals from a lot of other movies. And it does so shamelessly and bad. From The Lion King to Ice Age, there is nothing original here. The movie also doesn't know if it once to be a serious interpretation of the novel or a kiddie-friendly version. So it fails as both versions. And hearing the law of the jungle or whatever the damn thing was said out loud 3 times during the movie was 3 times too many. The kid playing Mowgli is annoyingly cute, annoyingly clean and way way too human for a boy that was raised by animals. I found myself being really annoyed in a scene where Mowgli sits on the bears stomach as it floats on a river. The bear splashes water at Mowgli but his hair never gets wet. Again, this was complete cgi and the fact that I noticed this, shows how bad that scene and the whole movie was. Had I been excited and given a rats ass about any of the characters, I probably wouldn't have noticed it. If they had had a bigger budget and made the animals real (which means they can't talk and they hunt, kill and eat each other) and they had made Mowgli a wild boy with no language, acting like an animal and made it R-rated for adults, then MAYBE they could have made a decent movie. The worst part of it all is that Jon Favreau, who gave us the original first and excellent Iron Man movie actually directed this crap. Avoid it. Even if you have kids around the age, this movie is meant for. They will find it even more boring than most of the adult audience already finds it. Let them watch the cartoon instead. At least it was fun to watch for me when I was a kid. Once again, I wish IMDb, would allow the possibility of zero stars. Or in the case of this movie stars below zero would be even more fitting.

When I went to see this movie I kept thinking about how great was the cartoon movie with all its extravagant and funny characters: Balu, the elephants, even evil characters like Kaa (the snake) were fun to watch. How could I even forget a minor character like the vultures, and their jokes on Shere Khan? Their humor was great in contrast with the tiger's ego. I thought I would revive all those memories watching this movie. I was wrong. This movie is lacking of various things. First, a good plot. Second, good characters with relevant appearances. Third, humour (nonexistent if we ignore Balu) and a good atmosphere for songs (is this supposed to be a musical?). And fifth but not least, WHAT IS KING KONG DOING IN KING LOUI'S TEMPLE?? What they have done to that poor monkey is unbearable. MY SUMMARY(SPOILERS): King Loui doesn't dance. Shere Kahn doesn't bother to chase Mogli through the jungle. Why would him anyway? He already knows the plot. Kaa's appearance in the movie is what in Spanish we call "postureo". He appears once. He narrates Mowgli's origins to the spectator (how plot convenient...). He tries to eat the kid with no success and fades away to live happily ever after. The rest can be summarized in: * logic. I have been walking for two days to get to the human village, and now I can just run away for 10 minutes with a torch in hand to get just where the movie started. Hi, my name is Mowgly and I like to burn down jungles in my free time (appaluse). AH AND THE VULTURES DON'T EVEN SPEAK IN THE WHOLE MOVIE, SAME AS THE ELEPHANTS which are considered gods among the other animals (wtf) and magically appear in the last scene to save the day. Please re watch the old movie instead of wasting your money in this thing. Why Loui?... Why?...